SS paper, screwed it up... Nothing to say... EL PP 2, screwed summary up... Mid paper can think about that guy.... I am so angry with myself....

Met up with the exco to inform certain things... Then tried to study A maths but could not concentrate... In the end thought of something else then vent my anger on something... Hope no one saw it... After went to eat with Han Yuan and Jun Hao... It seems whenever i am down i would crave for curry chicken....

If only i have not accepted the position... the board would be better than it is now... It has become worse than when we inherit it... I made someone else lose their chance to get the position just because i was selfish and wanted the position... So much people tell me they respect me due to my leadership skills... that's all crap, i know i am the worse leader and deputy head prefect or even better prefect that the school ever had in it's 100 year history...

Haiz.... What a week that has passes.... Lesson after lesson, test after test, homewrk after homework, practical after practical, paper after paper, remedial after remedial and now night classes after night classes??? We are going to frop dead le... almost havlf of the class falling sick... now got message that tuesday after paper and wednesday got remedial... What the hell, we are no robots who can study for 24 hours!!! i am going crazy soon...

Don't know why i feel this way... When the juniors greet me be it from prefectorial board, ncc or normal students, i ask myself... do i fit for such an amount of respect... to the extent even the 1T1 boys give me face... some times i think i am not fit even to be at my porition- the position that i used to hold that is... now my life in secondary school is going to end, but i just could not find 1 success that i had but more of failures...

Been a good week till today... wont talk much but more of venting my heart out. SO please those who don't want read DON'T read.

All the things i have done was in vain... I treated you better than i treat my ex co and myself... I miss 5 mins of lesson everyday last year to run down to check on you to make sure that you are alright and not getting too depressed.
Argue with the ex co each time they want to do something to you... argue with them to get w you want...
Standing all the sarcasms from the teachers saying why i miss alot of lessons.. Why is my grades deproving...
BUT WHAT DO I GET??? Disappointment time and again..
I thought i would step down happily but you have to do this to me when i am stepping down in 2 more days??? you say they don't appreciate everything i do, but did you... I feel like crying but i just cant...
Reflect on yourselves, what you have done, which can make me so hurt that i cried for the first time in 2 and a half years...

I am finally broken... i am lost...

Been having sleepless since that Saturday when someone told me about something... Messaged them but got very little reply, which is unusual... Dragged on day by day by day... Started to message someone else then start getting replies and night by night the message got more deeper... He was my friend at night when i could not sleep and he accompany me till i sleep. When he and the others go off, my whole life was so quiet its as if i am a new boy in school. After school going home straight, no one to talk to and study with...

I don't know why must i have this kind of feeling.... I have gone through worse than this and i did not even think or feel anything about it...I felt so helpless, cant study, cant eat, cant sleep, cant communicate with my friends.... I am like a living zombie...I would leave to got to decide for me, i am tired and need some rest...

Thanks to all those people who have been trying to cheer me up, my best friend, my classmates, my exco and my prefects.... Just ignore me for now, thanks again

To those who cared for me:
I would try to be happy again but give me time to face all this nonsense feeling first. Would be me again soon..