haish my 100th post is really going to be saddening..

Ya Allah, protect my sister in law from any mishaps. Take her out of her misery if you must. Grant her back her body so that she can lead a better life. Forgive her sins and let her come back to her family..

Haish today is so terrible i should not say about it..

Ran with Eileen about 5 rounds of parade square during chem night class.. Felt a bit more relief so i decided to run a round of the park connector which is equivalent to about 2.4km?? So today ran about 3km??

I am terribly sorry.. I don't know what was wrong with me that day.. you have always been really nice to me.. Been there when i feel sad.. you went through thick and thins with me.. Seen me cry, that's what i call a great friends.. though we are of different religion, race and gender you treated me so well.. and i mistreated you.. i am really terribly sorry.. I just don't know myself anymore..!!

Haish... so tired of this stinking life.. i Just feel so helpless now..


Sometimes i just laugh for no reasons, you guys may wonder why.. I am just laughing my stress out.. but sometimes it just does not work.. i hav no idea whats wrong with me... I lost all my skills.. my skills to do everything i used to do.. Now is just like dragging my legs to school and back home and the enxt day to school and the cycle just continue.. i no longer walk as fast as i used to.. TOO TIRED.. Just feel like giving up.. haish

I really dont know how far i can go.. I am losing all hopes in motivating myself.. board has already been thrown far away and i am still not performing to my expectations.. i just dont know what i need to do.. I am so confused.. i dont even know what i am writing.. i just feel like confiding into someone.. but to confide into who??? who would understands my agony.. my pain.. . i am really so tired of life.. of being failure.. yes failure is the mother of success but who can stand failing always... whats wrong with me.. i dont even know myself anymore.. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH... why is it so hard.????????

Why in the world did you go that stupid thing?? i warned you before but if it really happen i dont know what to say.. We had many examples to learn from but if you still commit the same mistakes i tell you she is going to be really sad.. She is already old dont make her disappointed and sad again.. Please tell us if you did anything else so that we can help and do something to prevent it... Please dont make it happen....

Well school was alright though i was flying during the last period.. Thanks to Cheryl Yuen and Lien Wei cheng for always trying to wake me up.. Hahas..'

Went to friday prayers then help out at the mosque for awhile then went home.. Fell asleep woke up at 6.20.. Almost late for night class... Rush to night class and then do the worksheets, brain like dead... cannot really think properly..

After night class brother brought me and family to eat sushi.. Very full, then we take a walk at ECP.. the memories... haish..

Aku amat kecewa dengan keputusan kalian semua.. Aku sudah cuba sedaya upaya untuk menjadikan kalian seorang ihsan yang bertanggungjawab tetapi sudah terbukti bahawa aku telah gagal.. Apakah daya, ini semua keputusan kalian.. Aku hanya boleh duduk di tepi dan lihat...

Sampai bilakah aku boleh bertahan dengan semua yang berlaku ini...

Hari-hari akan ku memhabiskan satu hari ke sekolah... Sle pas sekolah sempatku mermberi pertolongan kpada orang-orang tua yangg membungkus bubur itu... Selapas itu balik ke sekolah untuk kelas malam dan kelas tambahan.. Selepas itu pulang sudaj lewat malam.. Sampai rumah kena buat kerja rumah... Bagaimanakah pelajaranku?? bilakah aku boleh buat kerja sekolahku?? Haruskah aku korbankan waktu tidurku?? Setiap hari aku hanya mendapat 5 jam bagi merehatkan tubuhku ini...Aku amat letih.. Letih dengan permainan dunia ini..

hari-hari aku akan memberi alasan untuk tidak membayarnya.. keluargaku sudah kesempitan wang...apakah nasibku bergini.. aku tidak tahu apa yang harusku lakukan melainkan menyerahkan nasibku kepada ilahi...