I was expecting that message to come from you judging from the attitude you have been showing me for days.. whatever i heard from you, i use selective hearing.... i shoose to listen what i want to listen to.... i am lost, i dont know what to do... i am such a failure....

Enjoyed myself during the weekends... I wont be sharing about it though it was really fun... More of trying to clear my mind before doing my maths revision...

I used to complain to the teachers that when i leave home the sun has not rise and when i return home the sun has set... But it seems after i left there is a big hole in my heart.. Though now i am wearing my tie again, do not be mistaken that i am back but we are just wearing for the sack of wearing it... makes no difference we still have stepped down.. Now i understand those people who have spend years in the board but have to leave it.... Soon it would be the school..
I seriously feel like walking under the rain and cry my heart out.... I don't know why i feel so sucky... why memories of those times always recur in my mind... Perhaps due to the reason that i am free, which was why i always think about all those negative thoughts...

Yeah 50th post.. Decided to share a story i read...Though the lower parts are more for muslims freind of mine... The other believers can read the story up to the Qur'an verses and proceed to the last sentence...



A professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see and asked the students, "How much do you think this glass weighs?"



"50 grams!"..."100 grams"..."125 grams"... the students answered.



"i really don't know unless i weigh it," said the professor, " But my question is: What would happen if i hold it up like these for a few minutes?"



"Nothing", the students said.



"Ok! What would happen if i hold it up like these for an hour?" the professor asked.

"Your arm would begin to ache", said one of the students.

"You are right, now what would happen if i held it up for a day?"



"Your arm could grow numb, you might have severe muscle stress and paralyse and would have to go to hospital for sure!" ventured another student; and all the students laughed.



"Very good. But during all this, did the weigh of the glass change?" asked the professor.

"No"

"Then what caused the arm ache and muscle stress?" the students were puzzled.

"Put the glass down!" said one of the students.

"Exactly", said the professor."Life's problem is something like this. Hold it for a few minutes in your head and they seem okay. Think of them for a long time and they begin to ache. Hold it even longer and they begin to paralyze you. You would not be able to do anything".

"It's important to think of the challenges(problems) in your life, but EVEN MORE IMPORTANT is to have trust in Allah (SWT) and "put them down" at the end of every day before you go to sleep. That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh and strong and can handle any issue, any challenges that comes your way!"

So, as it becomes time for you to leave office( or any where else that cause you the stress.) today. Remember friend to "PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY' and have tranquility by gaining trust in Almighty Allah(SWT).

Noble Qur'an says: "He it is who send down tranquility into the hearts of the believers taht they might have more faith added to their faith. (48:4) Tranquility is sign of strong faith while worries and stress is sign of weak faith.

Tell to your mind every day before you go to sleep: "YAA AYYATUHAN NAFSUL MUTMAINNAH , IRJI'II ILAA RABBIKI RADHIYATAN MARDHIYYAH, FADKHULII FII IBAADII WADKHULII JANNATII". (Al-Fajr 89:27-30)

Translation> "O soul that is at rest satisfied. Return to your lord well-pleased(with him), Well-pleasing(him). So, enter among my servants, and enter into my paradise" Noble Qur'an.

By worrying so much, do not turn you life to hell, Good luck...

Thursday 6/5/10

Maths paper 1 was doable though i know i wont ace it... Mother Tongue paper 2 relatively easy spent 45 minutes on the paper and another 45 mins sleeping XD...

After that went to mac to study with Nicole, Moe, Theng Wei, Eileen, Jian Cheng and Ebenezer. Instead of studying i ended up talking to them...

After around 3, went to meet up with my mum and did some grocery shopping, after that homed...

Reach home, my mum asked whether i want go watch Ironman 2 with her, i told her i have a paper to study... She say its ok to go out then study when i reach home, so i obliged...

Ironman 2 was relatively nice though i fell asleep midway, kevin and claire would understand...

When i reach home fell asleep, so tomorrow paper die.....

Friday 7/5/10

Went school, both paper is Biology... nothing much to say... looks like i am going to flunk almost every subject....

Nothing much happen just that got messages that made me worried throughout my Friday prayers..

Tomorrow plans to take the Duck Tours with my family to celebrate Mother's Day..

Hey gal - Cheer up alright... Look on the bright side of life.... Why want to end your life just because of something that you are even unsure of.. Think of those who wants to live but does not have the chance to... So treasure life....

Wednesday 5/5/10

I am so really going to kill myself... i actually froze for half an hour with a blank mind staring at the question... I spend a long time to study it and it can just turn blank... thank god i manage to recover the memory and finish the paper on time...

After exams, went to walk around the school then went to canteen after all the recess finish to study some maths... then when to play badminton with my 4 so-called fitness instrutors XD they are Sok kuan, Stephen, Jimmy and jocelin. Had a blast time running around the court XD haha, you know what i mean...

Life had improved so much this few days... I am so going to enjoy life which i have been missing these few years... Cheerios, going to study and play somemore... XD

Monday 3/5/2010

Went to work so nothing much happen....

When i was at home manage to study Authoritarian Regime..Hope to cover 1 more chapter soon...After finishing the revision, i sat down thinking about how everything is and suddenly remembered its already May... Its time for the preparation.... Messaged them but only 1 replied so i prepared him.. The other one i know wont reply so i was sitting there thinking why should i care in the first place... My time is up, whatever happens is already none of my business... After that my heart suddenlyfeel so light and i began to joke around with my family... I guess the burden i have been carrying made me a gloomy person.. Glad that its all over now XD

10.00p.m.

Friday 30/4/2010

Finally happy again... Had a nice time chatting and studying in class with my friends... We had 4 period of maths which is equivalent to 3 hours which we spent on doing question on other school papers together with TYS( Ten years series)... After schooll went prayers then went back to school. Help the office sort some stuffs then went to Macdonalds to meet some one... In the end he said dont need, but reach le then saw Claire, Jaryl and Shi ying... Settle some stuffs and went from table to table to talk to juniors... Wanted to study but mood was to high in the end look at them do casco!! Crazy sec 2s, so competitive.. hehe.. After that homed at around 7. Bathe and then went out with my sis and mum to bugis... Walked at bugis street and bought a new sling bag, like finally...haha. Homed and reach about 10.30. Was tired then sleep..

Saturday 1/5/2010

Woke up at 7, not used to waking up late... XD When i woke up, i switch on the television and went to toilet to bathe in the end when i came out my parents and maid is already awake, maybe i woke them up, haha... Talk and talk with my beloved parents then my mum and me went out to get some things done and buy some stuffs. Then we home.. In less then 1 hour, we decided to go out and watch ironman 2. So we bused to woodlands, Causeway point... Went all the way up but the queue was god damn long... then told my mum don't need watch next time then watch... So we had our late lunch and talk... It seems it has been some time since i last talk a lot to my mum... After finish eating, we wanted to go back home. We had to turn one round to get to the other escalator so i told my mum lets take a short cut at the arcade... My whole idea is to take the short cut, i walked in front and reached at the exit when i turned around not to see her.. So i went back to find her, i found her looking at someone playing time crisis 3 ... I was shocked... I was even shocked when my mum asked me to play.... GET THIS, MY MUM ASKED ME TO PLAY!!! weird, normally a child would be the one asking.... haha.. that's not the end of my shock, she asked me to top up $10... Initially i thought i would be playing alone... BUT she asked me to play the basketball thingy, so i played and she asked me to let her play... SO i tool one station and she took one... GUESS WHAT!!! TO MY HORROR, SHE WON ME!!! I was laughing my head off as she always complain her hands are pain but she can actually shoot the basketball like nobody business... I was standing wondering is she my mum... In my whole 15+ years with her i had no idea she can throw so well... Homed and watch the lord of the rings till 2 a.m..

This was the best weekend i ever had... Have not had this kind of fun and satisfaction for a LONG LONG TIME!!!

Sunday 2/5/2010

Nothing much happened. Went to work then homes.. So i am here now posting when i should be at Mac studying... Going there now, cya next time :)